Dead Man’s Cell Phone and Dreams

I have to say, I have never before had an experience like I had with Dead Man’s Cell Phone. This play is a beautiful story of people looking for connection, love, life and all that good stuff. I developed a connection with my cast and crew that has inspired me to move to the city where we did this show. I too have been feeling distant and unconnected socially. So I am looking to buy a place in Saskatoon, and maybe continue developing the community connections that I so desperately need.

I loved my characters in the play, Dwight and Gordon. Both brothers. Both looking for something. It was an opportunity for me to show the kind of work that I am capable of, as well as allowing me to play in the kind of work that attracts me as an artist. What a showcase it was. I love these plays because it really shows the power of a “in tune” cast. As an ensemble we all connected very quickly, and became friends, real friends. That connection does not happen as often as you might think. I think our director was instrumental in giving us all the freedom to explore this odd little play and find the life in it.

It was also a very personal time for me. I wanted to show the artistic community of Saskatoon that I love what I do, and that I love the community that is in that city. I was also given the amazing news that my wife and I were going to have a baby! This was a crazy time because I had been resistant to start a family.

I am not sure how to word this but I have always wanted a daughter or son. The woman who I love, has for the longest time, not wanted any children. Though a deep disappointment, I had resigned myself to a life without kids, filled with funky travel and real estate. With a lot of vacillation, swinging back and forth, and dreams dashed, I had all but lost hope that she would change her mind. Suddenly we were presented with a plus sign on a stick and well…….

I hate to say it but I was so excited, and cautious, that I didn’t believe it would ever happen. I reached out to friends and family. They were kind of helpful. I was distant with my wife. For the first time in our marriage I felt like I could not talk with her about how I felt. In hindsight, I think I was afraid that if I talked with her, she would change her mind. Its amazing what the mind can do.

Sadly, at week 6, we lost the baby. I am sad, and not sure how to feel about the whole journey.

Now, I am finished my show in Saskatoon, sitting in my office in Moose Jaw. Like our show, I am looking for reconnection with my wife. Do we try again? Maybe : ) All I know for sure is that I love KJ, and we will be moving and shaking once again very soon.

Oh, and I start a whole other show in Regina tomorrow. In Flanders Fields. Life just doesn’t slow down, does it?

 

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